"Why was I always suffering, always browbeaten, always accused, for ever condemned? Why could I never please? Why was it useless to try to win anyone's favour?"
-Jane Eyre
I love how you're basically pissed just because you're embarassed and lost out on girly prospects. Gives me reason to give a fuck less. If maybe you had shown me your true colors before, I wouldn't even have bothered trying. To tell me I never wanted you and that I never loved you is complete bullshit. With all my heart I did. In all honesty, I felt like you didn't give much of a shit about me. I dunno. Everything you said before and the way you acted towards me during kind of drove my feelings away. I understand you got a job and couldn't talk to me during certain hours but you barely talked to me afterwards, you didn't bother to call, and when I called you, you barely said shit to me. The night you told me you needed to go to sleep at 2 and ended up staying up until 4 sealed the deal. I wanted to talk to you and I was trying not to give up, but you made it all clear. If I don't put my heart into something in the beginning I'm not gonna give the effort to see it through. If I stayed I would've done some fucked up shit. I know from before experiences, when I don't feel cared about, and when I stop caring, I tend to go a little haywire in no time. It began to agitate me when you called me baby and after talking to a close friend, I thought it'd be better if we were friends. Yeah, that's not enough time to determine anything for most people, but I'd rather not waste your time. I really felt like you deserved better. I felt like I was doing you good. I didn't mean to hurt you but I didn't...some of the stuff you said to me was uncalled for. I slept all yesterday because I couldn't stand the heartache of being conscious. I loved you and was looking out for your best interest and that's how you reacted. Fuck that bullshit. I felt bad yesterday, but now I realize not only are you better off, I am too.
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