F*cking&Flying

Thanks for yesterday. :)
Self, never fall for a guy like Tyler ever again.

The Missing Piece/Zombified

I'm not sure what to say.

I remember when you used to write me notes that long. Fuck the new days.

Whatever

It's not like I was, y'know, looking forward to it or anything. Cause I totally wasn't.

:\ Yeah. Whatever.

4:08

I'm usually asleep at that time in the morning. I'll make sure I answer the phone for you next time, haha. :)


I spent this morning with my mommmy. She's leaving tomorrow morning. At 7. Then I won't see her until Sunday.

She's ruining my day. I was all happy with Mallory and Mikalani, planning on having a kick ass week and she just fucking ruins it for no reason. She said I can't hang out this week. I mean...really? Boo, what's wrong with you? You's crazy. I'll see. I might stay home. Ion know yate. :p

Fuck Yo Couch

Yesterday was okay. I feel like bleh for some reason. I love Poppie and Bubba. They're my niggas, man. Especially after last weekend. It's so much better when it's just them, me, and Morgan. :)

Everyone's going to prom. Boo, you whores.

My mom's leaving the day after tomorrow. Cool cool. I get to spend the whole week with Morgan. Hopefully everything will go right. Well, I feel pretty damn bummed. Holla.

Sigh

Why? Why do you tell me you want me to care about you? Just so you can... When you care about someone, it hurts really fucking bad when they screw you over. You tend to do that a lot to me, so it's just better if I don't give a crap about you. :\

You want something real, blahblahblah.

Quit your shit and you could have something real. If there was anyone more willing...I'd have to be dead. I just sounded incredibly pathetic. I know when I'm not wanted, so that's why I avoid saying shit like that. I always want to, but I don't want to hear your excuses and accusations as to why...yeah. I'm sorry if it makes you pissed. I always finally build up that courage and think of your response while it's halfway out of my mouth. If you wanted to be with me you would've already asked. You're just playing around. 'Tis why I don't trust you. 'Tis why I don't believe you when you say you want me/love me/care about me. If you did, we'd be together. It's cool, though bruh. I'm okay with being a friend because I'm not good enough for you. :) I'm only good enough to be that side thing that you can always go to as a last resort, because you know I'm always here for you, and it's really easy to take advantage of that. And when exactly was it that you fell out of love?

Ugh. Now I'm gonna be all depressed and junk when I call you back.

Oh, Tell Me Now

Where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?

I'm Always Your Last Resort. Cool.

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all,

You never know if you never tried to forgive your past

And simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only

I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms

So come on and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy

Giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

I need a tan. Sigh. Ugh, I need to shave also. Danggit.

What The Heck, Bro xD

It was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line.
I really fucked it up this time. Didn't I, my dear?

Yes, you did. That's what I kept singing Saturday. Just for you.
 
I don't think I should be so angry at you. I already knew how it was the moment you called. I knew not to kiss you with emotion. I knew not to let you touch me where it mattered. I knew not to get carried away. I knew not to say "I love you," while meaning it. I knew not to take you seriously when you made me pinky promise you'd want me while sober. I knew you wanted her, and I was just closer at the moment. I knew just to play along. It meant nothing. You were just high. I'd rather you be safe with me than automatically shut you off and let you do something stupid. Especially after you blamed me for the truck thing this summer. I care about you. Only in general. I don't give a fuck about you personally. That has never gotten me anywhere. The thing is, I mean, if I knew all of this already, why'd I get angry like I did? Why was I so surprised to see you walking with her hand in hand just a few hours after I left you?
 
Remember all those times you asked if I still had feelings for you? Well, I wasn't exactly lying when I said yes. Yet I'm sure you had your own assumption of what those feelings were. You were both right and wrong. I hated you so much because I loved you a shitload more than I should have. Now I feel nothing towards you. Not hate, not love, not even like or dislike.
 
Last blog about you. You are nothing to me.

$73.39

Being on opposite sides of the earth wouldn't make me feel far enough away from you.

That's how much the army guy paid for all of our Waffle House. Hahahahaha. Last night/early this morning was great. Just absolutely, completely great. We went to a graveyard with a board, got frikkin Waffle House at 2 in the morning, and then went to Wal Mart. I seriously had the best freaking Saturday ever. I was kinda agitated earlier that day, though. Don't you love it when you decide somebody is no longer going to be a part of your life and they call you up while high, keep persisting on seeing you while you're trying to find an excuse not to see them, CAN'T FREAKING FIND ANY, so you're just like, "Smh. Ugh, fuck this shit," and you have to actually put up with them for almost an hour and you just go along with whatever until YOU CAN FREAKING GET A RIDE OUT OF THERE?! That's my least favorite position to be in. Especially when you're playing along and then get kinda caught up. It's fine when you remember exactly why you hate  severely dislike that person, though. :) At least I got a little something out of it. xD Freaking faggot, man. 
Lord I won't miss you child
You've been blotting out my mind
Fooling on my time
No, I won't miss you, baby, yeah

Speaking of faggots, those army guys most definitely weren't. How come I've never realized how sexy army guys are? I mean, the one that was really into the supernatural?! YES. <3

I just heard my neighbors outside: "Quit arguing with me! We're about to go to church for g-d's sake!"

I keep thinking about last night. I can't even. Best shit ever. P&B are definitely up there now.

Pineapple Express

You agitate me. As if you have room to talk about any damn body. I pray that one day you'll finally learn how to love somebody. Love isn't cheating, hurting, lying, and all that shit you're used to doing. If it is, then the world is perfectly fine without it. You must've used spell check, cause if anyone can't spell that word, it's you.

Anyways. I cleaned so much today. I got this random burst of energy and I went freak mode and organized everything and threw everything away. I feel anew.

I think I might start dieting next week.

Dude, this movie is so hilarious.

Baby, Watch The Stars

The aliens are making them dance. Just for us.



Said I've been crying, my tears they fell like rain,
Don't you hear, Don't you hear them falling,
Don't you hear, Don't you hear them falling.

I had a fantastic freaking day today. Whos' not going to ruin it last minute? You.

Sending Pictures

My day...oh, now that I think about it, it was pretty shitty.











But I'm pretty chill now. No school tomorrow. :)

Silly Wanker

Goodness. Not enough care given to go there.

I was bummed all day at school. I like playing Dots with my not-friend. Bleh. My bestfriend uploaded my pictures for me. :) Ehh, I forgot that one was still on my camera. -raises nose- Don't you love it when people rush you into a picture just to get their page done? xD I finally got my Eminem cd. -.- I never did get Recovery. How late. I'm annoyed. I got some new mascara, too. I wanna talk to someone. We hung out with Easton again, today. -shakes head and smiles- Anyways. :) ...Dude, this nigga is right there when I get on my FB profile. Ew. That annoys the fuck outta me. Ha, I'm sure I know what was running through her mind. I don't really care to go read. Made-up stories are better than the truth. adskfbnaSJFDLKHasbdk HE'S A LIBRA! I just fell in love. Soccer playing, smoking Libra with a blunt pipe who listens to country music. You've got to be kidding me. Lulz, Morgan. "See, his lips are perfect. They're sexy guy lips." They really are... Yeah, I don't like the kid. Marshall Bruce Mathers III is gonna have his voice raped soon.

I'm a little bit insecure from all this mis-treatment.

Piss Off, Twat

I'm a real big fan of yours

But I'm quite the joke to you

But boy it wasn't a joke when you

Kissed me in your room and replied

"I love you too"

I'm a little bit insecure

From all of this mis-treatment

But see I'm workin it out

Workin it out you're so damn hard

When you're alone

sha da da da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da

I am running out of words
To say to you, wondering why im

wasting my time

Thinking back and won-dering why

I'm such a fool for loving you

And I get to the point where

All I wanted for for us to make up

But its not that easy

Cause boy you move on so quickly

Keeping a girl like me at the edge of her seat

And I know everything you do
Is all about your perfect image
Well I hope this song
It helps your image

sha da da da da da da da da da da
da da da

I'm so over you now

I am running out of words
To say to you, wondering why I'm
Wasting my time

Thinking back and won-dering why

I'm such a fool for loving you

And I was one who thought I was strong

Well you proved me wrong

Now I'm singing along every song

On the radio i dont wanna go
Come on baby tell me
Something I wanna know
Now wanna see what is on my mind

Because slack of motivation is

taking over my time and I'm sick of trying

All together now!

I am running out of words

To say to you, wondering why I'm

Wasting my time

Thinking back and won-dering why
I'm such a fool for loving you

An hour or two of bitching back and forth. I don't care. You don't care. Nobody gives a fuck. Ha.

Rant time. Now delete rant and publish.

I Hate Coke. It's Gross.

"I'm so over you now."

I need another day away from...all of that. Just to myself. Well, with my mommy.

I don't see the point of you saying any of that. It doesn't matter. It's all useless while you're trying to get with someone else. If it's "just so I know," then I don't need to know. It doesn't benefit me in any manner. It just gets my hopes up a little right before crushing them, cause I realize you don't plan on making those words go any farther than the surface. Like I said, I want something stable and real. If you're not going to be the one to give it to me like I want, then don't waste my time. Just let me...yeah. :\ No more blogs about/to you.

Strong words with such weak undertones. That's all I know how to do. I never come out and say what I really mean, because I feel so vunerable.

I don't have to see you today.

The ForEver TakeBack

She's one of the reasons I have an ounce of happiness in my life. I like learning how to find myself once again.

I'm a little bit insecure

From all of this mis-treatment

But see I'm workin it out

But workin it out is so damn hard
When you're alone

I spent Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday with my family. <3 Mmmm, barebeque at Uncle Gary's. We went to the flea market, China Buffet, and Joey's. I got's new stuff. I like my new bracelets. I'm excited. I have a mood ring, too. Hahaha. I love being with them.

There's no point in thinking he still reads this. :) I could write about being sad and heart broken without worrying about him laughing at my pitifulness. I don't think I'll waste any unnecessary time on him, though. He certainly didn't on me. I cut beings friends out of the picture.

And I got to the point where

All I wanted was for us to make up

But it's not that easy

Cause boy you move on so quickly

Keeping a girl like me at the edge of her seat

Ha, I've never really gone without at least faking a smile in pictures.

Now I've got to go read Their Eyes Were Watching G-d:

She had an inside and an outside now and suddenly she knew how not to mix them. p. 72

Nyeeeeaaahhh

I don't want anything with you.

I'm sitting with my bestfriend, Jessica. :) COMPUTER NAZI -.- Jessica's a failure because she spelled 'nazi' wrong at first. Natzi...wow. Sigh. I'm...not unhappy. I'm...yeah, I'm happy. :) Even though these stupid pictures won't upload. HMPH.

I'm content.

Not Friends

Sorry for calling. I'm sober now.

On to my life. I had a doctor's appointment today. That lady got me. I thought she was all nice and sweet, right? Well, this lady pulls out a needle on me. Right before she did, I noticed the blood in the tubes everywhere, and I realized what was happening. I started laughing. I was so traumatized. I started watching my blood flow into the tube and I got a little queasy. Ow. ):

Ha, I can stay way.

Bop It

I don't know what to blog.

-My life is gone.
-John's gone.
-Justin's gone.
-Forrest's gone.
-Andrew's gone.
-Tyler's gone.
-Adam's gone.
-Devon's gone.
-I'm gone.

Everything is gone. Memories, rants, unwise decisions. None of it's there. Surprisingly, idgaf. It'll hit me sooner or later, though. I can't think about it too long or I'll start tripping.

Assholes. -.-

What Did I Just Do?

I just deleted most of my life.

I don't even know what to say. I'm so...lost.