Happiness is..

-finishing up yearbook pages that look incredible.
-'fros before hoes. ;)
-smiling at the thought of that special someone.
-seeing people you LIKE at Wal Mart.
- Listening to Drake non stop everyday xD Take Care (Deluxe Edition)
-getting new eyebrow rings.
-secret Santa in English class.
-music.
-wake& bake with an old best friend you've lost touch with.
-tellin' your precal class you're wearing pantyhose under your sweatpants.
-knowing someone who has such a great smile, that it also makes you smile. Even if you're not friends.
-knowing weird facts like how that special girl is named after someone you just found out about yesterday.
-not having any homework.
-making an a on a history test everyone else failed because they're too lazy to read xD
-when your books fall out of your locker onto someone else's head when you're not there and your bestfriend who shares your locker with you tells you about it later. Lmao. Poor girl. That Precal book is heavy.
-when all your books fall out of you're locker and the only person to see is a teacher that starts laughing hysterically. -___-
-calming down after your day is ruined by a douchebag you wanted and decided to randomly start ignoring you, that's beyond sexy, who keeps popping up everywhere, (RDTV, your lunch wave, stays in your lunch wave, on your way to 6th, and waiting at the bottom of the stairs when you're going down) when you never saw them when you were talking to them.
-seeing your dog humping your little brother while in a Santa costume.

If I Was a Boy..

  I always do this to myself. I don't like you. I don't. I most definitely don't. You don't make me happy. You don't make me smile uncontrollably. I don't love talking to you. I don't get all girly those rare times I get to see you and walk up to you and hug you in the hallway. Oops, I'm not being impeccable with my word.

I have been listening to Drake non-stop lately. I'm obsessed. I admit it. I'm like that when it comes to music. I have a favorite for a week or two. I want a Drake shirt. UNF. This cd is so amazing.

Holden

God, don't I know what it feels like to be isolated from the world? Cynical and depressed. There's nothing I know better, actually.

Howell got to me today. I don't like people as a whole, but when it comes to the average person's emotions, as sad individuals, I'm nothing like I come off as or try to: Strong, unmoved, reserved, with a clear head. I can be the world's biggest nurturer and unfortunately incredibly emphatic. It made me so upset to see him with such a look of sadness and disdain on his face, that I could not help but to ask what was wrong so that I may have found some way to comfort him. Regardless the age and position of authority that divides students and teachers, I just couldn't help but seeing him as someone truly close to me at that moment. "Are you okay? Are you stressed? Is it Gifted stuff," I added, trying not to overstep my boundaries, and he said, "I'll show you." He then preceded to pull up a page for a respected cemetery for our countries' protectors and came to a name. Linda. His mother. It breaks my heart and I can't help not to cry. She died in July and he waited this long just to be able to get her buried there, with the full 21 guns ceremony and everything, in Washington. She didn't ask for all that, but he said her last wish was to get out of Salem, Alabama and that's why he did it. That's what tears me apart. He went through so much just to get her there, because of her last wish. It just makes me love him for her.

Reese Cups

I need to quit procrastinating and do my work. UGH.

On the Tip of My Tongue

The reality that I'll be leaving here pretty soon is starting to slowly dawn on me. A change of atmosphere. A disconnection between me and everything I have grown to know and love. I'm not sure whether I'm frightened or excited. I'd never be able to figure it out so I tell myself there's no point in worrying about it because either way it's going to happen. It's crazy... to think I've been fully molded into who I am and will always be, but I'm not even halfway finished. What will happen in the future? Where will I go and who will I be, and be with? Will I find happiness? Will I find religion? What will I do in life? There's so much more to go and it's amazing to think about. All the infinite possibilities. We are infinite.

Rappin' and Bitches

"Hey, tell Connie what you wanna do with your life." -smiles mischievously- "I'm gonna go into the cannabis industry."

I love Fred. I'm glad to have met him. Gives me hope in people.

I love this new Drake cd so much. I sat and listened to him yesterday. Suddenly, I  began to cry. Words of the lonesome stab so hard.

To Give Thanks

"If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want."

Seems I'm always telling myself this.

I'm thankful for Tyrice, Nicole, Jessica, Lucy, Matthew, Ben, Ethan, Morgan, yearbook, people who have bought ads from me, my family, music, clothes, happiness, my blog, my personality, my dog, my shoes, my hair, my eyes, school, words, language, eyesight, technology, America, my house, food, drinks, cannabis, yeah definitely thankful for weed, scientist, colleges, magazines, coffee, Chik Fil A, fast food restaurants, Chinese food, roads, bridges, ways of transportation, books, self help books, boys, girls, love, emotions, radios, history, english, grammar, my hands, my feet, all parts of my body, sex, kissing, cuddling, affection, bad days, good days, etc. I'm just thankful. :)

 My fonts being a dumbass. I give thanks for dumbasses. They give me something to complain about and give me reason to improve my own actions.

To Be Infinitely Happy

That always seems to be the one thing I'm wishing for and always the one thing I'm failing at getting. I have it though, and I'm the only thing keeping me from getting to it. I could be happy if I saw things differently. I tell myself not to take things so personally, not to get upset over small things that don't matter. I tell myself so many things. I give myself so many reasons as to why I shouldn't be down, and yet I still am. I won't listen. There's nothing in me that wants to listen to me. I'm just so damn hard headed. I like him and I want him and I hate that he doesn't want me and that he doesn't text me back and that I don't have any weed and blah blah blah. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. SO FUCKING WHAT So what about everything? Who is he? And is he anymore better? You can't control their actions and who they are and what they do and what they don't, so why care so much? Why not just let it be and be you. I have control of me and my actions and who I am and that's all that matters. That's all I should care about. Me. I have control over my feelings towards the actions of others and that's about it. It is my sole decision how I let them affect me. Sigh, if only I could make better decisions.

Who Loves the Sun

Why not say anything? Why just leave it at that? It bothers me to see you. It's embarrassing to be quite honest. I don't know what to do with myself. Do I look away? It'd be easier if I hadn't lied to myself in the beginning. It was quite obvious and it's my fault I chose not to choose the truth. There's nothing I can do now, though. No reason to blame or judge. I've just got to completely forget it. It's obviously no part of me and wasn't meant to be. I just wish it'd get off my mind already. Sigh.

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not sure how I'm feeling and what road I would like to take from here. I guess I just gotta keep on truckin' on and hope I end up in the right place. Maybe I'll remember not to bother with any of it all because soon I'll be gone and this will be beyond my control. It has no matter anymore. If only now wasn't all I had.

Don't Take Things Personally

Agreement Number Two.




I agree to be impeccable with my word. I agree not to take things personally. I agree not to make assumptions. I agree to do my best. The way I'm doing things isn't exactly working so great. That means a change is in order. A few changes. All of which I have made. I'm happy again. Score 1 for Jeo.

Angus & Julia Stone. :3 I like them.

4th Round of Playoffs

The game last night was amazing :D I'm so proud of our team. I love football. It makes me happy. I'm not going to any school with a shitty football team when I move to Colorado. End of story. I have a headache from screaming so much. I wish my throat was sore and my voice was gone. That would make me so much happier.

I sort of can't wait to move. I'm not wasting anymore of my time on guys here. I give up.

OH SWEET JESUS TRE

That boy gets sexier everyday.

OH GAWD

What am I gonna do if Joseph texts me?

Stupid phone. I hate my life. I'm so irritated right now.

Is It Good to You

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball


I am an absolute shipwreck. I'm the freakin' Titantic for goodness sake.


I wish he liked me because he's sexy and out of my league and a football player and he's gorgeous and UGH, and I refuse to fully like the other him. I can't believe he had the freakin' audacity to OHMYGOSH I just have no faith left in the male population so it's back to being a whore with no emotional ties to these fuckers. I give up again.

Nothing is Real

I see him, and when he doesn't see me, I get upset. I need to quit get so worked up. I need to chill the fuck out. I think I'm going to tell myself I don't like him anymore, that way it isn't as big of a deal. Shoot, I bet he doesn't care, so why should I? Exactly. :) It's gonna be all gravy from here on out.

Daily Horoscope: "You can't avoid disruptions to your routine today -- things just aren't going your way, and there's not much you can do about it. See if you can just keep flexible and adjust to outside influences."

Me all the way:
http://dajuana.com/name-meanings-2/meaning-of-the-letter-j.html