It's worse than going to sleep sad, because at least then I know I can escape it.
I admit I sorta.. broke down for nothing yesterday, but I know it's because I needed a reason. Any reason to keep myself from liking him. I'm not fond of having feelings for people. I wish I could've chosen to do it on my own instead of trippin balls over the smallest thing last night. I guess it also did actually kinda.. hurt in itself. Maybe it was the coming to terms with the truth that I had already accepted but tried to ignore that hurt. Joseph doesn't like me like that and he will never even think about me in a way that would lead to something more. The end. Get it, Jeordin? Sigh :\
It makes me nervous putting his name in here. I only did it to clarify my last post wasn't about Tyler because it could seem that way. I have this fear that he, Tyler, might give him my url one day. I don't know why. It just seems like something he would do. Like the Devon thing. I'm so paranoid. The last thing I want is Joseph reading my blog. Oh, dear. Must stop envisioning that.
He called me yesterday too. He's so predictable.
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