I really try not to let you ruin my day. I know you don't do it on purpose. You don't even know you do it, but you do. Everyday. At some point or another. Sigh.
I dunno, you don't ruin my day. You do one thing that makes me sad, irritated, or angry in some way and that thing eats at me for a little bit and then it's fed more and more until I forget whatever it is, the original reason I was in a bad mood, and get stuck in a depressed rut that lasts the rest of the day. Sometimes, fortunately, something rescues me. Something small that makes me smile. Then I get so happy that I'm finally smiling that my body feeds on that happiness and expands while also wondering how I could get so happy so quickly when I spent most of my day sad. Like today:
Justin texted me. I smiled. Then I became as happy as I was when my day started off. I have no problem with that, but WHAT THE DEUCE?! I just..I don't understand. It makes me feel like I like him, but I know I don't. That was pretty much determined after that one football game, under the stars. Lolololololol, sounds like we had sex. Anywho, yeah, obviously no AHH DUDE WHY DID I HAVE TO THINK OF THAT -.- Not having sex with him, I meant the night under the stars.
Echk. Memories. Damn sophomore year. How the frack did I have all that romance and blahblahblah crap going on then and absolutely nothing now? I have absolutely zilch going on in the romance department. I feel so insecure. Just saying. What's wrong with me? Uglier chicks have boyfriends. Slow people have boyfriends. Annoying bitches have boyfriends. I'm...prettyish. I'm smart. I'm down to earth besides, ahem, a few anger and jealousy issues, haha. Do I radiate "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME"? xD That's certainly what I feel like. Forever alone, broads. Seems like I'm not good enough for anybody... not even the person I give everything to. Sigh. It's whatever.
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