Pill Popping

I miss the way you smell. I hate that your scent haunts me. I'm about to cry in school. I hate this. I want you to pretend you're high and kiss me. I love you.

When he smiles it's got nothing to do with me.
I'm not the one who sings him to sleep.
And I've been talking to God asking for just a little help with you but it's hopeless.

It's not the first time but this one really carved it in.
Tell your new friends that they don't know you like I do.
It's over. I wanna see you again. I wanna feel it again.


Today went by the same as the rest of my week. I think I was worse today than I was yesterday. Fell asleep in 2nd. I was just trying to get away from my thoughts, but Mrs. Eastridge noticed today and started bitching at me. I was too sad to give a fuck or listen. I spent my 3rd period writing about how miserable I feel. We had a test in Spanish. I did that. I didn't really care that I didn't know much of it. I didn't eat lunch, I just went and painted. Walking to 7th I saw him in the Yearbook room. My eyes began to water for the 30th time today. He came in the room and I just began shaking. Mrs. Shellhouse is all on my sac. She wants to see more pep in my step. I want to feel his arms around me. We can't always get what we want. Came home. Went to sleep. Woke up at 5:30. I tried to eat some of the chili I asked my mom to make me last week. I took 10 bites and my stomach hurt too much.

He's always had something permanent to fall back on. I fuck up and he quits me with no remorse, no second thought. He's got sex, kisses, and happiness from someone else. When he fucks up, I get mad and forgive him the next day because I love him. I don't want anyone else.

It hurts to be nothing to your everything.

On top of that, my period started. I'm going back to sleep at 8.

Yes I'm lonely, wanna die.
If I ain't dead already.
Ooh girl you know the reason why.
In the morning wanna die.
In the evening wanna die.
If I ain't dead already.
Ooh girl you know the reason why.