To Be Infinitely Happy

That always seems to be the one thing I'm wishing for and always the one thing I'm failing at getting. I have it though, and I'm the only thing keeping me from getting to it. I could be happy if I saw things differently. I tell myself not to take things so personally, not to get upset over small things that don't matter. I tell myself so many things. I give myself so many reasons as to why I shouldn't be down, and yet I still am. I won't listen. There's nothing in me that wants to listen to me. I'm just so damn hard headed. I like him and I want him and I hate that he doesn't want me and that he doesn't text me back and that I don't have any weed and blah blah blah. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. SO FUCKING WHAT So what about everything? Who is he? And is he anymore better? You can't control their actions and who they are and what they do and what they don't, so why care so much? Why not just let it be and be you. I have control of me and my actions and who I am and that's all that matters. That's all I should care about. Me. I have control over my feelings towards the actions of others and that's about it. It is my sole decision how I let them affect me. Sigh, if only I could make better decisions.