Expect Better Things From Me

I won't always write like I should, but I will more than I have been. I just always need a little inspiration, something to kick me in the ass and get me going in the right direction.

My mom has always said that I've had champagne taste on a ripple budget. I'm not exactly sure what the ripple thing is about, but I get the midst of what she means. I'm high maintenance. I do without if I can't get what I want. She sees it that way, but I see it another. I don't settle for less when I know there's something better out there. Maybe it isn't the right way of thinking when it comes to material possessions, but applied to other aspects, it comes in handy. It makes me the type of person that would settle for loneliness, rather than partake in something... less of what I deserve. I know that out there, there's someone perfect for me. Physically and psychologically. Someone whose soul is identical to mine and where it isn't, there are those pieces of me missing. One perfect match in a vast sea of diversity. I believe our own personal preferences, helps narrow down the possibilities. Preferences ranging from sexuality to even more shallow features, but I don't feel like those preferences should be forgotten or looked past. They give you somewhere to start. They bring a little order. Ahh, the perfect metaphor: Preferences are a dam, to a rushing, raging river, making things a little more simple. If you're attracted to traits of women, or traits of men, regardless you're own sexuality, that is where your other half lies. Then there's little things like a nice smile, manly hands, full lips, humor, a way with words... All of those things are building pillars, an outline of what to look for. Someone will eventually match that exact description, and that is why I don't settle for less than what I want. Some say beggars can't be choosers, but I don't consider myself a beggar. Sometimes the desperation of a beggar clouds my mind, and not always but most of the time, I remember I'm patient. I am a chooser. I will bask and find glory in my loneliness, because in the end, I won't be alone. I have a list of experiences that I've learned from, where I did settle for less, and the hurt that resulted as a consequence has held me back and blinded me of what could be, what will be, and I won't let it anymore. I won't sleep with anyone who falls a few feet short of my expectations, but I will wait until I find the one who I don't have to compromise with on certain things. On anything at all. I'll wait for a love that will never end the moment I slip my panties back on, but last infinitely, because I know that it is out there waiting for me. Just a little something I had to organize and put into words to make it permanent and real and there in order to go back on when I forget.